08 Jan

I haven’t worked at my part-time job for about a month and I have no clue when they will need me again. And stupidly I let myself get carried away with getting gifts for Christmas when I could/should have just gotten a couple of things instead…Granted at the time I thought at the worst I’d have no work for a couple of weeks and figured it would be OK. Stupid. I should have known better. I am usually so careful, it’s how the money I had saved (after putting money on the house) lasted me for a year.

As usual I am still looking for a more steady job but it seems even harder to find one now. I can’t seem to find any place that is hiring and it seems the only ones accepting applications are the same places over and over, they just put them on file and are not really looking for anyone. I hate this! I haven’t been this worried over money in a long, long, long time. I can’t take this… if I hadn’t moved I would have been stuck in a place I didn’t want to be in but at least I would have had a job and not have been worried about money. But here I am with a home and bills that I can’t pay anymore. And I have my daughter to take care of and let’s not forget about the dog. I keep thinking that my daughter can get a part-time job next year then I realize there are no jobs! Maybe because she is a teenager she can find one easier? I see a lot of teens working at fast food places and grocery stores so maybe she can get something at a place like that? I just don’t know.

Also I want to get my daughter into the Boys and Girls club (ASAP), I’ve been meaning to for awhile now. It’s should be a safe place for her to met kids her own age, all the kids in the neighborhood are a lot younger. And since she is home-schooled, for a few reasons, she has no friends out here because we have no way to meet anyone. Back home we knew people and she had friends…but here…forget it. Whenever she is out she is like a social butterfly, even though she doesn’t seem it when she is around family or older people. Actually it’s one of the things that makes me laugh. Kens family is always saying something about how quite she is and things like that, but she really isn’t. She just acts like that around adults, I was the same when I was her age (sometimes I am still like that lol). She is 16 and adults are just not cool. You know how it is. But oddly enough she actually still wants to do things with me, sometimes. Like go to the movies or the mall. She wanted to go see Twilight but because I’m broke I haven’t been able to take her and I was looking forward to doing something like that together again. So it makes me kind of sad. Maybe I can get her the book, I am sure she will like that and it shouldn’t be too much money.

So yeah. Broke. I have about $400+ a month in bills, groceries and such, it used to be more but Ken took over the electric bill recently… So yeah…$400 in bills etc and I only have $200 left in my checking. I am scared and really freaking out over my situation. I don’t know what to do. Oh…Our mortgage, after having gone down a few months back has gone back up again. Crap.

A simple thing like having to go grocery shopping tomorrow is freaking me out because of my financial problems. Thankfully his grandparents gave me some cash for Christmas so I will use that to get the groceries this week and use the money in my checking for my credit cards. But that only solves my problem for this week. It has also come down to me digging for change. I rolled about $40 in change, every little bit helps.

I should stop with the pity party. I just needed to get it out a little.

I think tomorrow I will make some snickerdoodle cookies. Again. I made some the other day but everyone eats them too fast. And right now I could use a cookie.

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Posted by on January 8, 2009 in Life


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